My Body Weight

Ever since I was aware of myself, I've been one of the skinniest guy I know. It has never actually hit me as a flaw in myself, I've always been comfortable with myself and I didn't see that I was losing in anyway. I was decent in sports, I had the attention of girls, I was strong enough to do what I needed to do and whatever else.

I don't know what came over me recently though, I just wanted to become better than I ever was. So, I decided to improve myself in every way i know and the first thing that hit me was my body weight. I think it hit me the most because, my cousin was down from UK... he was just like me, skinny and stuff but, this time when he came down he was muscular and very much bigger then before.

I thought to myself if he can do it, I can do it too and it's definitely something better then what I am now. Since then i took the initiative to get myself to shape, I got myself the right supplements, ate as much as I can and got a gym membership to make all that food count. I've now put in a few kgs and I can see my body changing, I can feel my body changing.

Even though I'm gaining a lil bit more meat then before, masking my rib cages a bit more, I don't feel any different (except the part where I've never felt meat on my body LOL). My confidence level hasn't changed, the way I feel about myself hasn't changed, nothing changed. I thought before that I'd have a different mentality if I was bigger then I was.

Now when I see adverts and stuff, they say things like "build your body and feel more confident of yourself" (for skinny people) I just laugh at it. Confidence is what you get from inside you and not from the way people look at you. So what if people call you skinny? hahaha. The only thing I'm happy about is, I'll be able to stop people from calling me skinny.

I don't think i've increased my desirability rating, although my gf says I look a little better. I don't know, may be it's because i'm not satisfied with my weight yet? I'll see what happens in another 2 or 3 months lol.

I am afraid I'd lose the things I had before, like speed and agility more then anything but i'm gonna still try doing it. You don't know unless you try and if my gf likes me better, then it's definitely a step forward. We'll see what happens...