Q: Do you think living with your significant other before marriage
is a good idea?

I decided to make this post after reading my gf's view on it. My
veiws aren't totally opposing hers but there are little differences.
The times have changed a lot. Cohabitation has become a huge
trend among youngsters these days especially in western countries.
It's true that cohabitation screwed up a lot of good relationships
but now we have to ask "Why?". Would it have been different if
they got marriedstraight instead?

Before I get into answering that question, lets dive into the depths
of living togather. Have you ever had a close cousin or relative
living with you? Someone you really like as family. I've had that
experience, infact I was the one who went to live with my cousin
for easier travelling. Prior to living with them you only know the
tip of the iceberg, just 20% of the big picture I'd say. My cousin
and I were pretty close, we had same interests and similar habits
so we thought it would be great since neither of us have brothers.

At first it was great, truly fun i'd say but as time passed we had
slight clashes of interests. Say things like, downloading too much
when the other wanted to play online games or staying up later
and keeping the light on cause the other needed to do something
or who cleans the room. We sorted that out though, i'm sure there
are more things that we do find uneasy when we are sharing. It's
simple, this is because human beings have a natural instinct of
thinking of themselves more then others.

I think the same goes to cohabitation, without the label of "family".
You can't divorce your cousin can you? The most you can do is
whack the shitout of each other and don't talk for a few years. Haha
don't worry I never did that to my cousin. My cousin and I just
made sure we took care of each others back and shared the likes
and dislikes, work things out, compromise. That's how it should
be during cohabitation also, infact that how it should be in a married
life or when you share your life with anyone, including your parent,
siblings, kids, cousins or your wife.

The reason why cohabitation failure rate so high is due to the lack
of effort and commitment. Like my gf said in her view "it's all or
nothing", you either give it all and try to make it work or jsut give
up because you can't take your bf farting all the time lol. Just try
stuffing a wine bottle cork into him or something hahaha. Anyway,
when you go into cohabitation, don't think you have a choice of
letting go. Cohabitation shouldn't happen as a tester, it should
happen as something to prove your commitment with. Not just
commitment to the relationship, but the commitment to life togather.
There is a limit to anything though, i'm not going to take it if my gf
lazes around the house whole day boozing while I put effort on
cleaning and washing and paying the bills. Play your role and hope
your partner does the same, although some habits may still linger
on, try to make a compromise, communication is important, he
might change because he loves you that much. If he can't may be,
you try to see if you can accept this little bad for all the good he
provides. Think if you would leave if you were married to him.
If you don't, I don't think you gave him a proper chance. This
also goes tot he guy, don't think you're no in it jsut because I keep
saying "him"

All in all cohabitation isn't where you test your partner, it's where
you test your own effort and commitment and see if it fits with
the effort and commitment your partner has. Cohabitation though
wasn't part of my plans in life, infact after seeing the stats I decided
it's jsut not good at all. But I do see good in it now and also the
plans i've put togather now works best, if I were to live with my gf.
If you believe enough in your partners, you don't have to have a
"tester period", that's only when you're matured enough to know
if he's what you truly want. That is why more marriages without
cohabitation works and also that added "commitment"that comes
with the wedding.

Finally my view on it, I think it's a good idea and an opportunity
to prove your true worth to your partner and not to test your
partner. If you go in with that mentality and keep going even
after you get married, soon the statistics of cohabitation with
change for the better.

Live is beautiful only for those who see the beauty, keep your
heads high and your spirits higher and soon you'll be able to fly.
Peace out ^_^