Lately a young boy I know approached me and asked me, "How to tell a girl, I love her?" and i just asked him to go confess it to her because you never know unless you ask. It was just so easy for me to say it but I remember there was a time when I was scared too. I'm kinda curious though on why I was so scared.
Was I scared I'd be rejected? or was I just scared that the girl would go complain to her parents? (This was when I was still schooling) or was I scared my friends would laugh at me? Hmmmm.... strange thing this. Everyone knows if you don't ask you never know but guys just want to be sure that the girl likes him before asking. Why is this?
Lets see the first reason, "Scared of rejection". I'm quite sure this is one of the reasons, a guys ego is pretty important to him, being told "eww..you want to date me?" would be totally disastrous to him. This may be a reason but i'm sure a guy can take it after some time for soul healing lol. I'll mark this as one of the reasons.
The second one was, "Scared of elders". When you're in school, your friends parents were like the grown lions (even if he/she was tiny lol). Imagine if the mom of the girl comes to you and say, "Keep your filthy face away from my daughter, you should be concentrating in studies now not doing this kinda things". Man...that would be scary >.<, in some cases I think yeah this can be a reason too.
The third one, "Mockery by friends". "Hahaha you loser, that girl din even like you a bit man", dang that would hurt. When you're in school, what your friends thought about you was pretty darn important (peer presure), which may also be a reason why you'd want a gf. For the purposes of admiration (well that's then :p). Personally I din think this was much of a factor because a lot of them got this kinda mockery and still lived on their school lives full of pride. LOL
Personally i think the fear of rejection is the biggest factor in this when you're in school, non of those relationships were really truly heartfelt, more were just over exaggerated infatuation. I think a person has to be more matured to actually feel a full blown love. Not saying non of the school kids have that kinda maturity, it's just rare at that age unless they have a really logical mind beyond their age. Thus, the burn on the ego would be really hard felt.
As for older guys, I think there may be two things. One would definitely be fear of rejection and the other would be the lost of a good friend, someone you really admired. Admiration doesn't only go to the person you love but also to your closest friends at times. The lost of such a good friend will be a great lost, thus there is more then one thing to think about if the friend was a girl you want to date.
My advice is, just do what you think you want to do, if you think you're scared to tell, then wait till you think it's the right time. When you do this, sometimes you'll never get to tell it and the chance will be lost forever but this is how we learn things in life. We are like just any other animals, we learn from mistakes (may not even be a mistake). But at one point, you better make sure you learn and open up to the girl you love, weigh the benifits and lost and see if you can accept the lost before you make a move. That's what I think, it may be wrong but that's my way i do things (not always). Peace out... good luck in everything ^_^
Was I scared I'd be rejected? or was I just scared that the girl would go complain to her parents? (This was when I was still schooling) or was I scared my friends would laugh at me? Hmmmm.... strange thing this. Everyone knows if you don't ask you never know but guys just want to be sure that the girl likes him before asking. Why is this?
Lets see the first reason, "Scared of rejection". I'm quite sure this is one of the reasons, a guys ego is pretty important to him, being told "eww..you want to date me?" would be totally disastrous to him. This may be a reason but i'm sure a guy can take it after some time for soul healing lol. I'll mark this as one of the reasons.
The second one was, "Scared of elders". When you're in school, your friends parents were like the grown lions (even if he/she was tiny lol). Imagine if the mom of the girl comes to you and say, "Keep your filthy face away from my daughter, you should be concentrating in studies now not doing this kinda things". Man...that would be scary >.<, in some cases I think yeah this can be a reason too.
The third one, "Mockery by friends". "Hahaha you loser, that girl din even like you a bit man", dang that would hurt. When you're in school, what your friends thought about you was pretty darn important (peer presure), which may also be a reason why you'd want a gf. For the purposes of admiration (well that's then :p). Personally I din think this was much of a factor because a lot of them got this kinda mockery and still lived on their school lives full of pride. LOL
Personally i think the fear of rejection is the biggest factor in this when you're in school, non of those relationships were really truly heartfelt, more were just over exaggerated infatuation. I think a person has to be more matured to actually feel a full blown love. Not saying non of the school kids have that kinda maturity, it's just rare at that age unless they have a really logical mind beyond their age. Thus, the burn on the ego would be really hard felt.
As for older guys, I think there may be two things. One would definitely be fear of rejection and the other would be the lost of a good friend, someone you really admired. Admiration doesn't only go to the person you love but also to your closest friends at times. The lost of such a good friend will be a great lost, thus there is more then one thing to think about if the friend was a girl you want to date.
My advice is, just do what you think you want to do, if you think you're scared to tell, then wait till you think it's the right time. When you do this, sometimes you'll never get to tell it and the chance will be lost forever but this is how we learn things in life. We are like just any other animals, we learn from mistakes (may not even be a mistake). But at one point, you better make sure you learn and open up to the girl you love, weigh the benifits and lost and see if you can accept the lost before you make a move. That's what I think, it may be wrong but that's my way i do things (not always). Peace out... good luck in everything ^_^
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